Video Vednesday on Friday...?

Hey, readership!  Look, I'm super-busy right now.  Had to get a rental car today so I could get to and from work while my car is having its thermostat replaced and its dirty, dirty lines flushed out.  Soon I have to leave the house for a baby-related doctor appointment.  Don't think I'm making excuses for not writing today.  Actually, you can go ahead and think that, because I am.  They're legit though!  I haven't eaten lunch yet.  I'm putting this blog before lunch!  What more do you want from me?  You demanding bastards!!

Alright, well my goal is to entertain on Mondays, Vednesdays, and Fridays.  Since I don't have enough time to properly write and proofread a full entry, I'm gonna hook you up with a video.  Video Vednesday on Friday.  Wacky, right?

When I was editing the first series of The Super Pancake Bros. Super Show, I often ended up cutting stuff that I thought was really funny.  Sometimes bits just didn't fit into a scene.  Other times I had to make cuts for time/pacing.  But I saved all the cut scenes with my pack-rat magic, smooshed 'em together into bonus videos, and put that shit on the innanet!  Here's the first batch of 'leftovaz' I put together.

If you want more Pancakes, check out all the videos on our Funny or Die page!

Extra Batter #2 "Leftovaz Vol. 1" - watch more funny videos

Video Vednesday #13

Here's another fine video produced by B.R.A.D., a sketch comedy team that very occasionally films short sketches.  This one was written by member Rob Klubeck, and he also does most of the talking.  In fact, I barely talk at all, so if you don't like my voice but like the way I look when I have a beard and short hair, this one's for you!

Ever the picture of modesty, Rob is always apt to point out that I contributed the Gruel-Mart line to the script, but almost all the credit for this one goes to his writing, and his and Don McGlynn's acting.  I'm just kind of there.

"News"

When I worked in an office we used to receive a weekly email newsletter called "News You Can Use".  A friend, Joe (yes I had a work-buddy named Joe at the office, too), renamed it "News You Can't Possibly Use" because the newsletter only contained information about which one of the CEO's pals was being promoted to assistant vice president or the new market in Brumbledunk, Oregon the company was looking to capitalize on.  Basically, the "News You Can Use" was a bunch of garbage that none of the people who actually did the work that kept the company afloat cared about.

Sadly, it seems the mainstream media is today's biggest peddler of "News You Can't Possibly Use".  Honestly, I didn't know what to write about today, and occasionally when I'm stuck for a topic I peruse the top news stories on a site like Yahoo!  Much like most other conglomerate media outlets, Yahoo! diligently reports on bogus bullshit that is useless except to serve as a distraction from what's actually going on in the country and around the world.  Let's look at some of the top headlines for today.

Here's the big five stories that Yahoo! felt deserved the top spots in the scroll-through picture-thingy at the top of their page:

1.  NBA Son is Hoops Prodigy

An NBA star has a son that's good at basketball!  It's good to be a well-informed member of the public. I was wondering if NBA stars ever fathered children that were also good at basketball, and now I know!  I'm glad this is the top story so that I didn't miss it.

2.  U.S. Factory Boss Hostage in China

Okay, this one actually seems like it may have some relevance.  How refreshing!  Apparently an executive with possibly the whitest name ever, Chip Starnes, is being held hostage in Beijing by workers at his medical supply factory.  This may seem like a big deal, but apparently this sort of thing is fairly common in China when workers, such as Starnes', are demanding more money, better working conditions, or what have you.  In fact, the President of the American Chamber of Commerce in China (yes, there's an American Chamber of Commerce in China), Christian Murck, has said he is aware that this happens but he wasn't aware of the Starnes case.  So, our media is making a sensation out of this, and the guy whose job it is to know about this stuff is essentially saying, "Eh, it happens."

It's funny to me that the Communists were our sworn enemies which we tried to eradicate in various 'police actions' around the world, yet when Corporate America realized they could save a buck through cheaper Chinese labor, suddenly it was fine to hold hands with them.  I guess this whole situation could have been avoided if Starnes chose to have a factory in the United States and employ American workers.  He's moving some of the production to India, though; obviously he doesn't see things my way.

3.  Rumor: Trade Offer for Pierce

Is basketball that important that two of the top three spots on a news website should be occupied by stories about the sport?  Is it so important that a mere rumor about a trade offer is top news?  Rumors aren't news.  Rumors are rumors.

4.  Pitt's Zombie Flick Trumped

So World War Z didn't take the top box office spot, but it still made a shit-ton of money.  It would make sense for this to be in a top news slot on Internet Movie Database, but Yahoo!?

5.  Myths About Buying a Car

Here's an article about what to do (and what not to do) when buying a car.  I suppose this can be very helpful if you're about to start shopping for a car.  But are enough people who visit the site for news about to buy a car to make this story relevant enough to be in a top spot?  Isn't the Supreme Court about to review a bunch of huge cases?  Maybe I'll find out when I listen to NPR in my new car, which I got a great deal on because I didn't wear a raggedy t-shirt and shorts when I bought it.  Because not wearing a raggedy t-shirt and shorts when you're trying to look like an intelligent, well-informed consumer isn't common-fucking-sense.  It's breaking news.

Alright, so that was frustrating.  The only reason I was inspired by the news on the page is because I felt the need to complain about it on the blog.  That's not how good journalism should work, or at least that's not how I think good journalism should work.  I watch quite a lot of old movies from the 30s and 40s.  Most of them (literally, a majority of them) have a hotheaded, get-the-story-at-any-cost news reporter character.  Perhaps this type of reporter never actually existed; perhaps this is just an example of Hollywood making the mundane more fantastic.  But whether or not there really were ever reporters like that, they certain don't exist now.  And when they do exist, they don't work for the mainstream media, and they get thrown in jail for whistle-blowing.  It makes me sad and a little sick to live in a world where people who are trying to look out for the public's best interest are likened to terrorists and put away.

Maybe I'm not being fair to Yahoo! and the other massive media corporations.  Perhaps they put the attention-grabbing fluff pieces as the top stories to lure in readers, then hit them with the real news after they've reeled them in.  Let me look at the next five 'news' stories to verify...

6.  Mesmerizing LeBron Mashup

More basketball!!!  And this isn't even a news story!  This is Yahoo! sharing a video of all the baskets LeBron James scored in game 7 of the NBA finals!  What the fuck, Yahoo!?  What the fuck?

7.  The 'Bling Ring' Burglars

Here's a story about the real teens that inspired the movie and the actors the who portray them in the movie!  Interesting, but again this is something that should be a top (maybe not even top) story on IMDb, not a major news outlet.  I browsed the first few paragraphs and still wasn't sure if this was a movie or TV show, so I quickly checked it on Wikipedia.  It turns out Sofia Coppola directed the movie, which does actually make me more interested in it since I dug Lost in Translation.  But Sofia Coppola's name doesn't even appear until about halfway through the "article", which I put in quotes because it's actually a series of pictures with a small paragraph next to each photo.  Sigh...

8.  Pitt's Ever-Changing Hair

Seriously?  Brad Pitt again?  I like Brad Pitt.  I think he's a good actor, and I've enjoyed a lot of movies he's been in.  But is he important enough to take up two spaces out of the top ten 'news' stories?  That's almost as many as basketball!  And how is the fact that he frequently has different haircuts news, exactly?  He's a goddam motherfucking actor!  Goddam motherfucking actors typically look different for the roles they play.  Fuck you, Yahoo!  Fuck you right in the face!

9.  Clippers, Celtics Reach Deal

Hey America!  Maybe you should be less concerned with people who exercise for a living and start exercising yourself.  Maybe you should read up on the horrifying shit they're pumping into our food.  Maybe my blood shouldn't be boiling because of all the basketball coverage on the main news feed of a big website, but it is.

10.  Kendall, Kylie's Summer Style

Finally, some real news!  Fashion tips for the season from two girls named Kendall and Kylie.  This is a shining example of journalistic integrity that I look for in the media.  Thank you, Yahoo!  Seriously though, who the fuck are Kendall and Kylie?  I don't care enough to click on the link and find out.

There you have it.  That's today's top news.  No wonder America has grown into a breeding ground for ignorant shitheads.  You can view that as me trashing America if you want, but I'd like to point out that I wish I didn't have to type the previous sentence.  It pains me to do so, but sometimes the truth is painful.  If I only had a few minutes to peruse the top news stories before heading out to work and I chose Yahoo! as my source, I'd walk out the door today being well-informed on all the latest bullshit.  No idea about what the Supreme Court is deciding today, no clue what our government is up to, no knowledge about what's happening around the world other than one small incident in a factory in China.

Thankfully, I do have enough time to seek out some actual news reporting before work, if I choose to do so.  Unfortunately, the real news often makes me feel worse than the bullshit news.  I suppose that's the problem: people would rather be blissfully ignorant (yet still miserable all the time, somehow) than well-informed and disgusted.  The news media is just playing into that, which is a shame.

Blog of Steel

Man of Steel has flown into theaters (Get it? Eh?), making massive piles of cash and garnering favorable reviews.  Despite being a Superman fan, I haven't been able to get to the theater to see it yet.  I'm very busy with being a dad, going to work, donating plasma, writing blogs, etc. etc.  I'm hoping I'll catch it before it's theatrical run is over.  Some friends of mine have seen it and loved it.  This is making me itch even more to see it.  Needless to say, I've got Superman on the brain, so in today's blog entry I'll share some of my thoughts on Kal-El, the last son of Krypton.

Secret Identity

There's a lot of people, non-fans and casual fans especially, who think that Superman's alter-ego of mild-mannered reporter Clark Kent would not disguise the fact that he's Superman.  "How would nobody recognize him just because he's wearing glasses?" they say.  Personally though, I've been overlooked by people who know me because of slight changes in appearance, including wearing a hat, getting a haircut, and even wearing or not wearing my glasses.  And I've seen people out in public and not recognized them because they were wearing glasses or sunglasses.

But shouldn't Lois Lane, a woman who is supposed to be one of the greatest reporters ever ever, who works with Clark every day and gets rescued by Superman just about every day, recognize that Clark and Superman are the same dude?  Not necessarily.  Aside from the glasses thing, when he's Clark he changes his posture, hunching over to appear more feeble and hunchy.  While I was at a carnival last weekend with Ginger and the kids, I saw a woman that I work with.  I almost didn't recognize her, and it was only because of a change in posture.  At the carnival she was walking like a normal human being, whereas at work she walks hunched over with her hands in the shape of claws, as if she's ready to kill somebody, because she's usually ready to kill somebody.  I thought I was merely seeing a person who looked like the person I work with, and it wasn't until she walked toward me to say "Hi" that I realized it actually was her.

Also, there's the disbelievability factor.  (Disbelievability, apparently, is a word I just made up, since spellcheck keeps putting a red-dotted line beneath it.)  The disbelievability factor works for Spider-Man, He-Man, and even Heisenberg on Breaking Bad.  People who have a reasonable suspicion about the real identities of such characters are often dissuaded from their belief by the disbelievability factor.  Peter Parker is far too nerdy to be the heroic Spider-Man!  Prince Adam is too much of a lazy, self-centered pretty-boy douche to be He-Man!  Walter White is too meek to be master meth chef Heisenberg!  And the same principle works for Clark Kent/Superman.  As Clark, he acts not only mild-mannered, but plays himself off as a clumsy oaf.  Nobody can believe that this human-blooper-reel farm-boy could possibly be Superman, even though he looks kinda like him.

Super Songs

I've noticed a trend in popular music where every few years or so a band or solo artist makes a hit song that contains Superman-related imagery.  The problem I have with these songs (other than that they're usually more of the same typical radio-schlock but with Superman-related imagery) is that the references are always so vague.  There's often mentions of the costume, specifically the cape.  Some of them reference Kryptonite or maybe a character or two from the comics, but that's it.  So we get lyrics like "I'm more than maaan in a silly red sheeeeet!" or "If I go crazy then will you shtill call me Shupermaaaaan?"  I am not satisfied by this.

As a Superman fan and a nerd, I hope to someday hear a song on the radio with very detailed references to the man of steel.  How about a song depicting a fight between Superman and Brainiac?  Or a song detailing a day in the life inside the Bottle City of Kandor?  Or an epic eight-minute-long ballad chronicling Superman's death at the hands of Doomsday, his replacement by four false Supermen, and his subsequent return-to-life-and-he-has-a-mullet-now?  That would be awesome.  I think.  Just me?

I will admit, while the references to Superman are vague in their song, I love the collaboration between Willie Nelson and Snoop Dogg.  Question:  How much weed did Willie Nelson and Snoop Dogg smoke?  Answer:  All the weed.

The American Way

Obviously Superman is an American icon, the first superhero to be birthed by an American art-form.  When Man of Steel was first announced I started following the pre-production as closely as I could.  Of course, when British actor Henry Cavill was cast as Kal-El, there was a minor backlash on the internet. Americans don't need to go out of their way to prove that they're pompous idiots, yet they try to do so all the time.  I remember shaking my head at such message board comments as "This is bullshit!  Superman is an American icon!  He needs to be played by an American actor!  Boycott this movie!"  My snarky follow-up message was, "I agree this is bullshit.  Superman should be played by a real Kryptonian."

There's just so much stupidity in the sentiment that Superman needs to be played by an American actor.  For one thing, Superman doesn't need anything because he's a fictional character.  Also, an actor is an actor, and people who act for a living frequently play parts in which they're portraying somebody of a different nationality or ethnic background.  If actors were limited to playing only parts in which they were qualified based on nationality, there would be no Sci-Fi movies or television shows, so SyFy wouldn't exist, so there never would have been Sharktopus.  Would you want to live in a world where Sharktopus doesn't exist, narrow-minded message board commenter?  I didn't think so.

Furthermore, in the early comics Superman was more a citizen of the world, defending the oppressed and the victimized all over the planet.  The American-flag-waving aspect was always there, but it became much more prominent during WWII and the Cold War.  But of course, why would somebody want to have actual knowledge about a character before blurting out moronic 'thoughts' about how the character needs to be done on screen?  Not in My Amurrica!

Whether you're an avid reader of the comics or somebody who's only knowledge of Superman comes from references on Seinfeld, I hope you've enjoyed my thoughts on Smallville's most famous son.  That's all I've got at the moment.  Oh, wait!  There's one more I'll share...

Beards

I think it's awesome that within the span of a year we've gotten a Batman with a beard, a James Bond with a beard, and a Superman with a beard.

Video Vednesday #12

The thing that makes comedy teams work is their chemistry together.  But what if one member of the team was mistaken for a burglar, punched in the head, and knocked down a flight of a steps, damaging part of his brain and altering his personality?  That's what happens to my brother S.M. in this video, and then things get weird.

Super Pancake Bros. Super Show #10 - watch more funny videos

The Ginger Files, Vol. 2

I have so many reasons for writing a second volume of Ginger's quotes.  The first installment was extremely popular, especially in Brazil for some reason.  Perhaps lightning will strike twice.  Brazilian lightning.  Another reason is that Ginger herself has again been insisting that I put more of her quotes on the blog.  "You should at least do one once a month." she told me last night.  I didn't realize it had been a month since I did the first one.  The time we've lived together has flown by like some sort of flying beast that flies really fast, so a month seems like an eye-blink to me.  Yet another reason: Little YaYa (featured in The Buttnerd Files, Vol. 1) has finished Pre-Kindergarten, so instead of boarding the bus a few minutes ago she has instead been pestering me to use the computer.  Much like her mom, ridiculous stuff comes out nearly every time she opens her mouth, so it's quite distracting.  But plucking out Ginger material from my ever-growing file and commenting on it is easy to do, even while distracted by a little butthead who insists that only pirates (and not cowboys) wear hats.

Wow, okay, so that's three good reasons to write this, and now that I'm done crafting what may be my longest opening paragraph to date, I'll start sharing the quotes.  I don't remember the context of the conversation we were having, but at some point in time Ginger said:

I think you have to have arms and legs to exist.

If I'm remembering it correctly, she said that to me in that tone that implied that I was an idiot for not knowing that, before realizing what she had said.  According to this theory, snakes don't exist.  For that matter, most animals don't exist since most of them have four or more legs and no arms.  Hell, Lieutenant Dan doesn't exist.  Rewatch Forrest Gump with the idea that Lieutenant Dan is a figment of Forrest's imagination.  That makes it a whole different movie.  Now, watch CSI: NY with the idea that Gary Sinise doesn't exist.  Just kidding!  Nobody watches CSI: NY for any reason.

Sometimes I wonder what my life would have been like if I'd have been born in 1894 instead of 1984.  Most likely I would have pursued a career in Vaudeville, since I wouldn't have the means to make internet videos.  Maybe Ginger and I could have had a stage career together.  She would have been the Gracie Allen to my George Burns.  Burns often attributed their early success to Gracie, whom he played straight man to while she got the laughs with her zany responses.  Without even trying (or even thinking about it) Ginger often makes me laugh with her answers to my questions, such as the time we were talking about pies, and this exchange went down:

Baxter: Did you ever have rhubarb pie?

Ginger: What's in it?

There was a pause.  I refused to answer, choosing to make a face instead.  That's where the Vaudeville audience would have been ROFLMAOing.  There was no Vaudeville audience in our bedroom that day, however.

If we had been alive in those days when jazz was 'the devil's music' and hobos wore suits, we probably would have had an icebox.  Last Summer, we had taken to calling our refrigerator/freezer the icebox.  Of the two of us, though, she was the only one that ever conversed with the appliance, including angrily saying to it:

You're the only icebox that doesn't stay open!  There!  I'll put a waffle in between your crack!

I have to hand it to her, putting a waffle in the icebox's crack was a quick-thinking solution when the freezer door kept closing by itself (the floor of the kitchen may have been slanted, or the apartment may have been haunted).  I can't knock her for the solution, but I can laugh and laugh at the fact that she talks to inanimate objects as often as she does.  Usually the word 'fucker' is involved.

Alright, I'll admit now that YaYa has stopped bothering me, but I've been distracting myself reading about Gracie Allen and George Burns.  (Did you know that Gracie ran for President as a publicity stunt in 1940 and ended up receiving 42,000 votes?)  One thing I find sad about the couple is that George outlived Gracie by 32 years.  Like most men, I hope to die before Ginger, and if I do outlive her I hope it's not by 32 years.  Perhaps The Grimkeeper will come for us at the same time.

"Who's The Grimkeeper?" you ask?  I was confused, too.  While we were watching one of my favorite scenes from Breaking Bad, in which Walter proclaims to Skyler that he is "the one who knocks" when somebody opens their front door and gets shot, this conversation happened:

Ginger:  He thinks he's The Grimkeeper.

Baxter:  ...Who's The Grimkeeper?

Ginger:  You know, the guy in the black hood with the long axe.  Death.

Let that serve as a reminder:  Life is short, so you've got to enjoy it while you can.  You never know when that guy in the black hood will bring his long axe to send you to the land of the dead.  Beware!  Sometimes he's disguised as a guy with black head-stubble and a red goatee.

Even More Things I Wish Would Disappear From Facebook

I've seen a significant decline in grumpy cat meme posts since writing my first facebook entry.  Actually, I see less of all the stuff I complained about in that one.  I suppose everyone else was just as sick of that crap as I was, and maybe they all started calling people out for their behavior or (I hope) just linking to the blog to let them know that an ornery blogger disapproves.  I've also noticed less of the annoyances mentioned in the second article, though there's still lots of people claiming to be bored despite having internet access.  Read something, jackass!

I wrote those two posts quite a while back, and since then I've started working afternoons/nights in a warehouse.  Also, the weather is nice approximately once every two weeks.  So, I've been on facebook a lot less than I used to be, and therefore I haven't thought much about doing another one of these articles.  But the time has come, because when I have been on facebook recently I've noticed bogus trends such as...

1.  Lousy Memes

Not everyone has the same sense of humor, so it's completely understandable if you post a meme that you think is hilarious, but I find it to be nonhilarious.  It happens.  And not everyone is inspired by the same picture of a sunset.  There's lots of different pictures of a sunset out there, and each of us is inspired in unique ways by certain pictures of a sunset.  I'm not talking about memes that don't do anything for me in the ways of laughs or inspiration or whatever.  I'm talking about memes that look like they were designed by a seven-year-old kid who just figured out how to use MS Paint.

Even if I agree with the sentiment displayed in the meme you post, I'll either scroll right past it or perhaps even sneer at it if contains misspellings, bad grammar, and/or pictures that are poorly cropped or not cropped at all.  Furthermore, if the meme makes use of awful fonts, way too many fonts, or a font that makes no sense within the context of the meme, I will not 'like' it.

Here's a perfect example.  I was browsing my way through my feed one day when I happened upon a post that asked me to 'like' if I support the troops.  I did not click 'like'.  Don't get me wrong, although I don't agree with the ways the people in charge handle our military actions, and I certainly don't believe these actions have made us any safer, I still support the troops.  The members of our military are men and women who spend months or years away from their families to do jobs that most people wouldn't or couldn't do (myself included), and I respect the hell out of them for that.  But this particular meme was the worst of the worst.  Its text was something like "If your grateful for the job Our Troops are doing, hit 'Like'."  Alright, internet, there's 'your' and there's 'you're'.  Learn the difference, please.  And 'Our Troops' shouldn't be capitalized like that.  This text, which was insultingly typed in Comic Sans font, was slapped over a picture that looked like it was an actual physical photograph of some soldiers uploaded from a scanner with none of the huge amount of white space around the picture cropped out.  Blecch!

Maybe that makes me an asshole for not clicking 'like'.  So be it.  I'd rather be an asshole than an idiot that "supports" the troops with Comic Sans.  The troops deserve better than Comic Sans.

Speaking of 'likes', I'm also getting tired of...

2.  Pictures of People Holding 'Like' Signs

The first time I saw one of these it seemed like a creative and genuinely likable idea.  It was a picture of a young girl holding a sign which said that she had cancer and she was hoping to get 1,000 or 10,000 (some number that ends in 'thousand') likes in support of her battle against the disease.  Of course I clicked 'like', because nothing makes a person feel better than "helping" somebody by not actually doing anything.  I did figure, though, that this could actually help the girl; positive thinking can be helpful when a person is sick, so maybe, just maybe, if this girl received that many 'likes' it would be good for her to know that so many people were cheering her on.

That was the first time.  The next few times I saw pictures of people holding 'like' signs it was for similar reasons.  But now it's hit that point where people are just doing it because it's a thing now.  The other day I saw an old man in my feed.  He was holding a sign that said something akin to "I turn 93 today.  How many likes can I get?"  Alright, guy, I'll tell you about at least one 'like' that you won't be receiving.  Why should I 'like' that?  Living to be 93 might seem impressive, but it may just boil down to getting lucky in the genetic lottery.  Or it could mean that he's on 26 different drugs that are keeping him alive.  That's not impressive.

Perhaps I would have clicked 'like' if his sign said something more along the lines of "I turn 93 today, and I still wipe my own ass.  How many likes can I get for still wiping my own ass?"  I may have even gone so far as to share that, because that can at least be admired.  Honestly, I don't want to live to be 93 if I can't wipe my own ass.  I agree wholeheartedly with Harry Nilsson, who sang "I'd rather be dead than wet my bed."

Just like with any other original idea, this one quickly became polluted, diluted, and easy to ignore.  Sorry people with legitimate problems or causes, but this is a facebook thing now, so it no longer has any meaning.

Speaking of facebook (I'm the king of segues, I know), the third item on my list isn't about the stupid shit people do on the social network, but rather something the social network itself is subjecting us to...

3.  Advertisements That Look Like Status Updates

Yeah, facebook is free to use and (according to the login page) always will be.  I appreciate that.  I understand that they have to make money somehow, and the only way to really do that is through advertising.  I get it.  And I never minded the ads that lined the sides of the page when I was scrolling.  Sometimes I'd even click on one if I found it interesting enough.  But this happens now:  I log in to facebook and I see your smiling face (or a picture of a dog or a car, because you have a picture of a dog or a car instead of your face for some reason) at the top of my feed.  I start to read, thinking that you've posted something funny or heartfelt or at least moderately interesting.  Wrong!  It's an advertisement for a corporation.  They're using your image to promote their product, and I'm willing to bet you don't get paid a dime for it.  Right?  Yeah, I know I'm right.

From what I've seen, I think it works like this:  If you like a corporation's page, the corporation will use that to advertise through you by putting small text mentioning that you 'like' them and then putting an ad where normally a status update would go.  When I signed in this morning the first thing at the top of my feed was what looked like a friend's update but was really an ad trying to get me to eat McDonald's new habanero ranch bacon or whatever burger.  No thanks, McDonald's.  The regular diarrhea I get from your food is enough for me.  I don't need fire diarrhea (fiarrhea?) on top of that.

If it was just one ad like this it wouldn't be so bad, but sometimes the first post in my feed is a fake-status-update ad, and then the third post is another one.  By the time I've scrolled to the bottom I realize that at least a quarter (if not more) of the "updates" in my feed were actually advertisements from corporations that already make insane amounts of money.  I'm sure as soon as they can figure out how to beam ads directly into our brains we'll be waking up thinking about the new quadruple bacon-blasted sweet 'n' spicy deluxe burger.  Stop respecting your body!  Try one today!  I'm pretty sure that the word 'quadruple' popping up on so many fast food menus is one of the reasons so many Americans have quadruple chins these days.

Before I stray from my original thought and start ranting about fast food some more, I'll bring it back to just the concept of advertising.  I have no problem with advertising.  In fact, I'm probably going to start running some ads on my various internet pages and videos to make some extra cash to buy diapers and cute little shoes with, but I have a problem with the ads-disguised-as-my-friends'-thoughts style of advertisements.  For one thing, if you have a decent product to promote, just do it with a regular ad, and if I'm interested I'll check it out.  You don't have to try to fool me into reading it.  Also, I don't think it's right for a corporation to use somebody's image to promote itself and not give the person any compensation.  If they're using your facebook pic to plug clothes, "food", beer, etc. then you should be getting royalties whenever somebody clicks on the ad to learn more.  But we live in a country that's owned by corporations, so I guess I'm pipe-dreaming.

Facebook is a great tool for staying in touch with people and getting my blog (and other projects) some exposure.  It's also a great way to waste time and procrastinate on getting stuff done around the house.  But the more nonsensical garbage like the preceding three items I see, the more I'm glad that I have less time to spend on facebook nowadays.

Alright, the blog is finished for today.  I'm gonna grab a quadruple cheesy fried onion and bacon butter ranchero suplex burger and enjoy the sunny weather.